Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....

2009-01-21T21:18:00.002+08:00

3rd relapse this month... I started to feel that I am useless... work... family..... relationship.... friends... myself.... I can't handle anyone of them well... felt like I have no one to talk to....

i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong...i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong... i need to be strong...

2008-08-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

Under going tremendous stress... I can't take it.... I really can't take it anymore.... *sob

2008-08-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

Drifted away... I felt so drifted away... away... and lost..........

2008-07-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

Adam Khoo led us to sing "Hero". I believe I can be the one... I believe I can be sucessful... I want to be successful...

2008-07-08T02:45:00.001+08:00

YEAH!!! finally found it!!! My favourite 13 years ago!!!!

2008-07-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

Lame Lame Lame!!

Naruto

2008-07-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

ARHHHH.... Stressed? Worry? Sick? Sad?? ARHHHHHH.....
Do I really look like a care-free person? haiz....

2008-07-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...
Sob Sob Sob...

2008-06-29T17:01:00.001+08:00

Okay... if you think I am not stress enough, FINE!

2008-06-28T12:29:00.000+08:00

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-18T17:36:00.003+08:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

2008-06-13T05:47:00.000+08:00

Il y a deux manières d'être malheureux: ou désirer ce que l'on n'a pas, ou posséder ce que l'on désirait.

2008-06-12T03:44:00.000+08:00

Comprendre, c'est pardoner.

2008-06-05T15:43:00.003+08:00

爱情有那么困难吗？
爱一个人有那么痛苦吗？
被爱的人有那么矛盾吗？
相爱的人又不在一起，你能了解吗？
相爱的人，天天见面，又不能相似，你不觉得辛苦吗？

听见你说他的事，我的心就像被刺刀不停的割害，如此痛苦，如此的悲哀。
看见你对我不理不睬，我就像一个被母亲遗弃的小孩一半，如此的失若，如此的寂寞。
为何呢？我为何呢？我为何如此呢？我为何如此的放不下呢？

我想。。。我想。。。我只能一个人默默地度过。。。一个人安静的平静。。。

2008-06-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

2 weeks - 14 days.... I had less than 40 hrs of sleep....
so tired...
so troubled...
so..... haiz....

2008-05-29T04:28:00.001+08:00

Life is so unexpected... Now, you are here... Next, you are gone...

2008-05-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

I am so lost now... So stress... So sad...
My dad was talking to me this morning about work... and just now, the most shocking news came and he had left us...

I don't know how to react but to stay calm as I am taking over the head of the family. The responsibility... the pressure... and lotsa problems which will come along...

I did shed some tears although I don't really like my dad but still.... he's my dad... not best in the world but still best for me...

A lot of problems started to appear in my mind... The wake, funeral, taking care of my mum, replacing my dad income... I started to admire my job more... I know it's going to be tough... and the first claim I'm going to make is my own dad, won't be a big sum, very miserable amount... I don't know if I can handle it well but I know if this amount is for my client... my client's family member will not go through the problems I am facing... the pressure... the stress... I think I going to love my job more... much much more...

Daddy... I love you... Rest in peace....

2008-05-17T10:31:00.001+08:00

GUILTY!!!

Spend money online again... haiz... terrible... but online shopping is so tempting... haiz...

2008-04-18T10:08:00.001+08:00

My fever hit new high.... OMG... OMG... 40.2 degree... *pengsanz

2008-04-11T01:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know why everybody rushes by
Not looking at the world we're living in.
I don't know why few ever take the time
To really open up their eyes to see.
By the wayside there are people
Determined to survive
If only we can give a part of our blessed lives

Learn to care
Learn to play our part
Everything we say or do
Must come right from the heart
Learn to care
Indeed we'll not know when
'Cause any time we may need
A warm and friendly hand

Try to see
Try to look and you will find
That generous spirit waiting to be freed
Try to feel
Just try to understand
There's someone somewhere yearning to be free
Along the lonely by ways
That seem to wind and turn
People trudge with weary mind
On a trip of no return

2008-04-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

omg... kena interview... so not prepared...

2008-03-24T03:13:00.002+08:00

学习勇敢

我想我要告诉你你不喜欢我真有点可惜
可是到最后结局喜欢之后放弃。
我讨厌不得爱你你在的范围我控制不起
说一句再见而已却只能回手转意。
怎么这些日子以来我都学不会勇敢
只会坐在一旁自哀自怜像个笨蛋
我只想牵着你的手走到一旁
对你说我的不安怎么办。
不在想像我的爱情就像神话一样浪漫
我会漫漫学会为你放弃爱情的决心
没有你的爱情我会走得更加更加勇敢
我会漫漫学会不再哭泣末天能不会等着你。

我只想守护着你不做你的唯一也没关系
感觉已经在这里继续还是逃避。
怎么这些日子以来我都学不会勇敢
只会坐在一旁自哀自怜像个笨蛋
我只想牵着你的手走到一旁
对你说我的不安怎么办。
不在想像我的爱情就像神话一样浪漫
我会漫漫学会为你放弃爱情的决心
没有你的爱情我会走得更加更加勇敢
我会漫漫学会不再哭泣末天能不会等着你。

不在想像我的爱情就像神话一样浪漫
我会漫漫学会为你放弃爱情的决心
没有你的爱情我会走得更加更加勇敢
我会漫漫学会不再哭泣末天能不会等着你。
不在想像我的爱情就像神话一样浪漫
我会漫漫学会为你放弃爱情的决心
没有你的爱情我会走得更加更加勇敢
我会漫漫学会不再哭泣末天能不会等着你。

其实...没有你的爱情我会走得更加...勇敢
我会漫漫学会不再哭泣末天能不会等着你
不会等着你不会等着你不会等着你
等着你等着你等着你

2008-03-13T01:27:00.002+08:00

March.. What a month... Travel plan for this month need to be modified! arh!!!! sob...

2008-03-07T02:09:00.002+08:00

Being super duper sick for the past few weeks... fever hit 40 in my life for the first time.. my brain is now kinda fried... feeling kinda messy with a lot of happening events.

8 more days to my little adventure and I have not read up anything on the place, have not really book the tickets, have not really book the hotel... BEST!
23 more days to the end of challenge equal to start of misery and many more ahead
28 more days and I may be having my first international professional title and YET, I'm not doing anything...
46 more days to my hatchday and to achieve my "life goal of getting married by end of 25"... (seriously, I am nowhere near there...)
90 more days to embark my journey to my fantasized holiday location...
177 more days to the uncertainties which will seriously impact me, at least...

I think I must fight on!!

*random*
I fall for a person who I think I shouldn't fall for... Messing up my thoughts.
Something inspired me today when I am behind the wheel.. and felt so shiok and I decided to disregard the restriction and go for my driving license...

2008-02-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

Did this on one of those boring days....

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
NUH?? fracture my wrists...

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Puzzles?

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
ermmm... look like a cell phone?

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Jazz, rock, pop and techno...

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Yes... it's on my Birth Cert

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Ben and Jerry's

7. WHO DO YOU MISS?
her....

10. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
hmmmm... do I have one?

11. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:
Heroes!! I love it now... CSI is nice too... ermmm... too many to mention

12. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Irene

13. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
no

14. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
ermmmm.. I have failing memory and such sad incident is not here to stay

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Estee Lauder - Pleasure, Burberry Weekend, Hugo Boss

16. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
no preference

17. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
Smart

18. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Hawaiian

20. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Ben & Jerry's

21. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
ermmm... cannot be mentioned here

22. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
yes.. quite a few...

23. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
how to remember?

24. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
yes...

25. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
nope

26. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
currently... no

27. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR?
Mini Cooper

28. WHAT COLOR IS IT?
Red

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF EXERCISE?
Mahjong-ing

30. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
yes... i will...

31. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
hmmm.... perhaps action?

32. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
23

33. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
prefer brunettes

34. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
ermmmm.... too many... Violet?

35. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
when i can't get my stuff done..

35. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?
I being out of US all these while... hahahaha... out of singapore - yes.

36. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
lazy

37. TATER TOTS OR FRIES?
fries

38. FIRST JOB?
my FIRST FIRST FIRST part time job is an adminstrator

39. EVER PRANK CALLED SOMEONE?
hmmmm... i could had but forgot le... as I said old man memory

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
stoning.... and answering question 39?

41. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
hmmmm... never tot of it...

42. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
coz i am bored...

43. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
hmmmm.... my humour

44. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
ermmmm... clubbing become dead? and better in a sense coz drink less la...

45. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
hmmm... I don't mind having lot of cash...

46. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
preferably 2 to 4

47. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I doubt so...

48. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
sometimes

49. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
hmmmm.... none? all look the same to me...

50. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
can't recall...

51. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no...

52. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
ermmm.... no idea

53. ANY BAD HABITS?
laziness

54. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
hmmmm.... do I have any?

55. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
why not?

56. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
not of what i recall...

57. DO LOOKS MATTER?
In what sense? it's both yes and no...

58. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
no... i don't release them...

59. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
somewhere out there...

60. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
not really

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
LOTS of them! Lego, Transformer, aiya... i am such a kid... i love toys

62. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
don't bother to count... it's numerous...

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
a little?

64. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
yes... ermmm... SHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

65. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
no....

66. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
intelligence.

67. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Ahdai, seal, jimbo

68. HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU HAVE?
4 at the moment... buying another pair today...

69. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
no.

70. WHERE YOU UPSET ABOUT STEVE IRWIN DYING?
a bit...

71. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
anything from Ben and Jerry's

72. ARE YOU LAZY?
yes, extremely

73. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
black, white. and blue

74. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BAND?
Boyband can?? Boyzone!!!!

75. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
apparantly is zero...

76. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
if they are bored like me...

77. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
nothing...

78. LAST THING YOU ATE?
ermmm... my medicine?

79. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
hmmmm.... Chloe? as on my last called number...

80. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
the eyes...

81. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:
hmmm... nope

82. FAVORITE THING TO HATE:
hmmmm... dunno

83. FAVORITE DRINK:
green tea...

84. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN
the bull! Tuarus...

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
walking.. hahhahaha...

86. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
ermmmm... ash brown?

87. EYE COLOR?
the dark brown

88. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
yes...

89. SIBLINGS?
a boring brother

90. FAVORITE MONTH(S)
December

91. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
no

92. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
on TV?? ermmm Ghost whisperer

93. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
x'mas?? think so...

94. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
yes... exetremely shy creature!

95. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter la. heat kill...

96. KISSES OR HUGS?
hugs are nice...

97. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS?
relationships

98. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
those who is like me?

99. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
those who are lazy

100. Create your own question! Whoo!
what!? *yawnz....

2008-01-23T04:24:00.001+08:00

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

2008-01-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

Why am I feeling like this... I miss you... really.. _____, I miss you...
*down...

2008-01-21T01:46:00.000+08:00

Did some spring cleaning today... didn't really enjoy it... digged out a lot of old times memories... good one, bad one... and mostly emotional one...

saw a lot of letters which I can't even remember receiving them before... a lot of memories which brought me so much of joy and sadness... I hesitated to throw or keep... in the end... i still kept them all... so much of me for the past 10 years... which I dumped inside these 2 boxes which I tot I will never touch them ever again... but... haiz... *emo...

2008-01-06T16:25:00.000+08:00

What a way to break record in the new year... Hopefully I have more positive record-breaking than such spending records...

60 bucks for a cab fare on a single receipt! (5/1/08)
80 bucks for cab fare within 1.5 hour! (6/1/08)

2008-01-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

2008! A brand new year. Hopefully a better year than 2007 in terms of health, wealth, career and relationship. Have being quite a rocky year for relationship in 2007.

Hmmm... everyone like to do some resolutions for the brand new year. I did mine too. I really hope I am able to achieve all these. :)

- Attain my AFP by April
- Embark my 1.5 month Asia Tour
- Master Golfing
- Attain my first 5 figures monthly income
- Pick up another language
- Achieve my first Conference at Rome
- Trim down (is this considered a resolution??)
- Stay happy and healthy if possible
- Have a good love relationship (as long not so "adventurous" like last year, will do)

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND SUCCESSFUL DAYS AHEAD!!! GO! GO! GO!!!!

2007-12-23T01:27:00.001+08:00

Le plus grand faible des hommes, c'est l'amour qu'ils ont de la vie.

2007-12-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

December is a month of festives, gatherings, gifts and celebrations...

Received wonderful gifts from the most practical (card holder) to the most expensive (Starwalker)... Gift of "huge" love (an oversize jacket from HK), gift of long lost (Mugs from old friend)... So much gifts... and gifts that I never expected... really... never expected....

2007-12-05T04:09:00.000+08:00

hmmmm... 2 more hours before I left Singapore for some boring biz trip... haiz... bored...

2007-12-03T04:17:00.000+08:00

Did I confuse her or she confused me? Up till now, I didn't deny the truth... I just remain silent... perhaps silence is my best reply. Will there be a future for us? Is it really alright? Is it workable? I had heard much objections and comments... should I still proceed? haiz... It's coming soon... real soon... should I, should I not? haiz...

2007-11-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

Look fun...

FEAR:
[] the dark
[X] staying single
[] getting married
[] being a parent
[] giving birth
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[] closed spaces
[X] heights
[] cats
[] dogs
[] birds
[] spiders and/or other insects
[] driving or being in cars
[] flying
[] being put to sleep
[] flowers or other plants
[] being touched
[] fire
[] water
[] the ocean
[] pools
[X] failure
[] success
[] germs
[] thunder/lightning
[] frogs/toads
[] mice/rats
[] jumping from high places
[] snow
[] rain
[] wind
[] cemeteries
[] clowns
[] large crowds
[X] demons or evil
[] crossing bridges
[] death
[] Hell
[] Heaven
[X] being robbed
[] being sexually assaulted
[] men
[] women
[] having great responsibility
[X] doctors, including dentists
[X] tornadoes
[X] hurricanes
[] being punished
[X] diseases, including cancer and STD’s
[] snakes
[X] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] poverty
[] ghosts
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains or railroads
[] taxis
[] fear
[] being alone
[X] losing my friends
[X] being blind
[] being deaf
[] growing up

W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N . T H A T?

1. You hung out with?: Kim, should be her ba
2. Saw you cry: Jeff
3. Went to the movies with you?: Alone.. I can't recall who's before that.
4. You went to the mall with?: Kim
5. You went to dinner with?: Kim and Norvin
6. You talked on the phone to?: ermm... Someone who I dunno...
7. Said ‘I love you’ to you and really meant it?: hmmm... Nah...
8. Made you laugh?: Hmmm... Norvin?? I always laugh! How I know?

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Nose
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny and yet serious... kekee
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Skim
4. Die in a fire or drown? ermmm.... Neither?
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents...

D O . Y O U . P R E F E R. .

1. Flowers or candy? Candy
2. Gray or black? Black
3. Color or Black and white photos? Color..
4. Lust or love? LOVE!! but hmmmm I don't mind a bit of lust.. hahaha
5. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset
6. M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms
8. Staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late.

A N S W E R . T R U T H F U L L Y !!

1. Do you like anyone?: Yes…
2. Do they know it?: Yes.

D O . Y O U . P R E F E R. .

1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Winter
3. Left or right?: ermmmm.... right? wait... where is my right?
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?: Two best friends.
5. Sunny or rainy?: Rainy for sleep, Sunny for office...
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: ermmmm... Vanilla? Why Ben & Jerry is not one of the options?

A B O U T . Y O U

1. What time is it?: 2247 hrs
2. Nickname(s): ahdai
3. What is your birth date?: 22 April 1982
4. What do you want?: kekee.... Her...
5. Where do you want to live? SINGAPORE!!
6. How many kids do you want?: preferably 3 to 4
7. You want to get married? Of course, in fact, I can't wait to get married.

U N I Q U E

1. Nervous habit: Good qns, I never notice..
2. Are you double jointed?: Nope
3. Can you roll your tongue?: Nope
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: think so (now trying)
5. Can you cross your eyes?: Yup
6. Do you make your bed daily?: depend on mood

R A N D O M

1. Which shoe goes on first? Right?
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone? Yes
3. What is your craziest experience ever? Dunno... countless... hahahaha

F O O D

1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl and eat it...
2. Have you ever eaten spam? Yup
3. Favorite ice cream: Ben & Jerry!!!!!
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? hmm.. Post Blueberry Cereal..
5. What’s your favorite beverage? Green Tea!
6. Do you cook? Yup... but rusty skill and I hate frying!

IN . T H E . L A S T . M O N T H . H A V E . Y O U ?

1. Bought something: -_-" Who don't?
2. Sang: hmmm... in my bed?
3. Been hugged: Yes..
4. Felt stupid: I doubt...
5. Missed someone: Yes... and very much...
6. Danced crazy: Nope...
7. Gotten your hair cut: Yupz
8. Cried: Yes
9. Lied: If I put "no", it's a lie...
10. Been kissed/kissed someone: hmmm... kekee.. dunno...

2007-11-12T22:45:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel so happy? kekekee... SO HAPPY.... SO HAPPY!!! kekee...

2007-11-06T20:17:00.000+08:00

Everything died on me...

Was chatting on the handphone, but it died on me...
So I played DS Lite, but it died on me...
Took out my MP3 player, but soon it died on me...
Kept everything and the bus died on me...

ARH... everything not working... ARGH!

2007-11-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

I am totally down and super no mood today after I seen him...
The world didn't come crushing on me... I'm fine.. just that many thoughts went thru my mind... I am not afraid of death... Naturally, since the day I know what is death... I know my turn is coming soon.. Perhaps it's my job... I started to worry... The medical bill which can potentially wipe out the entire saving and fortune due to the fact that I do not have insurance (for illness)... I started to worry about my mum... I started to worry about my brother... I do not have regrets if I am to leave tomorrow... but... it hurt me a lot to see them worrying...

Perhaps I'm worrying too much... it's only preliminary....

2007-10-29T15:33:00.000+08:00

看见你离开，我深感不舍。
心声的离别，不知如何表达。
不知何日再相遇，不知何日再重逢。
我们的相遇，我绝不忘记。
您的永不败的精神，许莫永不忘怀。
希望有朝一日，我们能像当年，一起开心地相处。
祝你事业有成，幸福快乐，一切顺利，一路顺风。
我真心祝福你。再见！！

2007-10-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

Try to Remember

Try to remember the time of September　
When life was slow and oh so mellow　
Try to remember the time of September　
When grass was green and grain was yellow　
Try to remember the time of September　
When you were a tender and callow fellow　
Try to remember,and if you remember　
Then follow,follow
　
Try to remember when life was so tender　
That no one wept except the willow　
Try to remember the time of September　
When love was an ember about to billow　
Try to remember,and if you remember　
Then follow,follow

2007-10-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

I want to laugh with you when you laugh.
When you are happy, I want to be happy with you.
When it's hard on you, I want to share the burden.
When you're in pain, I want to cry with you

2007-09-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

Obituary: Marcel Marceau

2007-09-24T02:16:00.000+08:00

It's a new week ahead!! Be happy!! Look forward it!! There will be new life... new love... new hopes... new challenges... gambatte, gambatte, gambatte!!!

2007-09-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

Have being watching Hana Kimi Japanese version recently... Ashiya is so adorable... hahaha... I start to wonder if such things really happen... A girl disguised into a guy to study... I know Hua Mulan did it to fought the war... Zhu Yingtai did it to study in school... I started to wonder all the handsome guys in the Hana Kimi show are stupid... Ashiya voice don't even sound like a guy lor... hahaha... plus "his" petite figure... ermmm... still in puberty? hahaha... nonetheless, I enjoyed the show very much!

2007-09-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

We can't go back to the day we met for the first time, but...
If I close my eyes, I can see your smiling face.
The song we both loved, do you still sing it?
I can hear it, your tender voice and that melody.
At moments when I am weak of heart, I remember you all the more clearly...

Sometimes I begin to hate myself, when i hurt someone with thoughtless words.
Yet I am so weak and small, I try to escape, please tell me to be strong.
Singing softly to myself, the melody we had sung together, made me shed a tear and long to see you.
I can hear it, your tender voice and that melody.
At moments when I am weak of heart, I remember you all the more clearly...

You played the guitar over the phone just for me,
The phrase repeats itself in my ears, making my heart ache.
It is the same reason that we first met, the memories are too vivid,
Even through hesitation and anxiety, I will never forget you.
I will never forget you....

2007-09-22T23:39:00.000+08:00

entered one of the most difficult phase of my career... feeing tired and dejected... kinda demoralised.... arh....

2007-09-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

OMG... so mushy mushy words out of a guy mouth which I saw somewhere.... *hair stand

Even though I dislike spring, but I like the flowers
Even though I dislike summer, but I like the rain
Even though I dislike autumn, but I like the falling leaves
Even though I dislike winter, but I like falling snow
Even though I dislike world, but I like you only

2007-09-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

You know that I'll be there for you in the end.....

2007-09-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

This entry is SPECIALLY written to that person who is SO impolite to enter my email and MSN account and delete some emails and contact... I am not a fool... ungracious moron... I am really wondering who is disturbing and clinching on to who... Respect my PRIVACY for goodness sake!! and I have my freedom to make friends! ADMIT that you always wanted to be in control!! And I really think if you have email anything or mail anything on my behalf or you sent emails of distorted truth...

Just FYI...

According to Cap 50A, S2-2, you have just perform an unauthorised act of access to alter or erases program or data which is an offence act and may face a conviction of maximum 2 years imprisonment not more than $5000 fines or both and I reserve my right to persue the case and I am very serious about it.

2007-09-20T03:02:00.000+08:00

What lies beyond the rainbow?
Stars? Moon? Sun? What will I find?
What's on the other side of the rainbow?
Gold? Dream? Money? What will I find?

*struggling thru many problems....

2007-09-13T02:34:00.000+08:00

Totally flared up by some uncivilised, ungracious, impatient, nonsense and irritating pests today... anyway, some threatening remarks had being placed to me in a public place, after consulting my friend, now I know... I reserve my right to pursue the matters if anything happened to me.. I wondered if these people had got their facts right and common sense that really make sense...

Totally pisted! PISTED!!! FLARE!!! FIRE!!! BURNING!!!

2007-08-20T03:05:00.000+08:00

出卖

么多年自作聪明付出了真心　
总以为换到一个公平的回应
你床边的蜷曲头发残酷地说明　
长年的爱比不上一时的高兴

你的多情出卖我的爱情赔了我的命　
我卖了一个世界却换来灰烬
你的绝情出卖所有爱情好梦一下子清醒　
感情像个闹钟按一下就停

那么多年得意忘形闭起了眼睛　
还以为握紧一块安稳的水晶
你床边的陌生烟蒂残酷地说明　
内心的爱比不上胸膛的温馨

你的多情出卖我的爱情赔了我的命　
我卖了一个世界却换来灰烬
你的绝情出卖所有爱情好梦一下子清醒　
感情像个闹钟按一下就停

你的多情出卖我的爱情赔了我的命　
我卖了一个世界却换来灰烬
你的绝情出卖所有爱情好梦一下子清醒　
感情像个闹钟按一下就停

那么多年得意忘形闭起了眼睛　
却看到这样血肉模糊的风景

2007-08-18T11:51:00.000+08:00

Five Loaves and Two Fishes
Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

2007-08-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting under the moon and stars... Wind softly caressed my face... Enjoying the peace and quietness out here under the light of the moon... At this very moment, I feel like sleeping and never wake up... tired and sick...

2007-08-15T11:17:00.001+08:00

Smart Alex... Fruit is good for you?? read the following story and think again...

This smart guy ate 2 big guavas down, coz it is so nice and yummy... in the middle of the night, this smart guy's stomach for hours... and he vomited all the gastric fluid (non-stop vomitting... for 1 hrs)... and now he is terrible sick lying in the bed, typing blog...

SO, think again... fruits good for health... hahahha... yes, of coz but not overdose... *feeling sick...

2007-08-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

Test flunk... ARH ARH ARH... these 2 weeks. I will be overwhelmed with tests and exams... I guessed I just failed the paper I took just now... merely 25 qns... 30%... I tikam 7 qns and got 3 qns I dunno how to do.... I guess... I gonna fail for sure... SUPER DUPER UPSET!!

2007-08-12T16:12:00.000+08:00

Silly me... hahahahahaa

2007-08-09T04:13:00.000+08:00

I'm drunk... no... I hope that I am drunk... to numb my pain... it's so unbearable... stabbed again and again... the wound run deep and it's not healing... I feel terrible... I am totally lost... I lost the battle... I lost it all... I have nothing now...

if only things are that simple... I won't be forced to the corner... DEAD END...

2007-08-06T01:45:00.000+08:00

After a week of trauma. Things kinda look better... Life's moving on.... Tests are coming up... my exams for M5 and M9 is coming too... so exciting... doing something that I always like to do... Hopefully I can do it well....

Hmmmm... National Day coming!!! Feeling so patriotic now. Proud to be a Singaporean! This is my Home, where I belong... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!!!

2007-08-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

男人的眼泪，不能抹。
它是我们最后的尊严。
当我们走到最后而无法挽回的那条路时，
珍贵的尊严流露，表示体面钢强的我们崩溃了。
被打败了，毫无保留。

当我们最无助的时候，
一人垂死争扎，世界像快要毁灭一般，
梦想灭绝时，男人的哭泣和痛苦，无人知道。
再多的欢乐和喜悦也不能换取我们的真实欢笑。

2007-08-02T00:02:00.000+08:00

I cannot take it anymore!!!!! Bruised and battered.... Dazed and shattered....

2007-08-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

31st July... Worst hit of my life in 2007...

Everything seem to go on the wrong direction.. I wanted to cry but... somehow, I didn't and holding back take me nowhere. It's a torment to me..

2007-07-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

When the pain is no longer pain, it's numb.
When tears become river, it's too late...

2007-07-28T12:53:00.000+08:00

What personality type are you?

Discover how your personality affects your relationships.

Builder(B) (score = 9)
Negotiator(N) (score = 9)
Explorer(E) (score = 7)
Director(D) (score = 4)

You are a Builder.

BUILDER

Your Builder score is 9

You shine at all sorts of executive and managerial skills. People admire and respect you. And you are capable of leading friends, family and business colleagues with dignity, consideration and sensible thinking.

You enjoy leading, too. You are affable, calm and outgoing. Social situations are often fun and relaxing for you. You like to bring people together, strengthen your family and business ties and shape your social and financial security.

You have a hard head. You think concretely. You respect schedules, routines and rules. You have a clear memory for yesterday's mistakes; so you prepare. You tend to be industrious, hard working and patient.

You are also somewhat stoical. And with this practical attitude, coupled with your dependable, cooperative spirit, you often become a central player of your social and business networks.

Your family can count on you. You are deeply protective of those you love. You are a guardian. And because you are trustworthy, responsible, somewhat traditional and regularly quite charming, people tend to regard you as a pillar of the community.

Dating suggestions for the Builder:

AT FIRST MEETINGS: Don't be too wary of a potential partner who appears, at first meeting, to be too impulsive and risk-taking. You can bring stability to this individual, and in return you may find someone with the energy and imagination you admire.

LONGER TERM DATING: Don't let your taste for plans and schedules get in the way of trying new things that may bring you and your partner tremendous joy.

2007-07-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

2007-07-19T00:17:00.000+08:00

Oh great... haven't update my bloggy for a month!!! Pretty busy for the past 1 month. Studying, self revision, working, interviews, looking for jobs... SO... a quick update over here...

I will be jobless in about 15 days... so... ermmm any people out there are kind enough to employ me? kekee... Had started looking for jobs/business... had good offers and good business but still wanna look around and perhaps decide later...

Well, there is no hush hush on what I will be doing... I will be either a Financial Advisor, Financial Consultant, Financial Planner or Personal Banker, which ever you guys call it... there is no difference anyway... I mean not much a difference... How exciting to embark my life in a new journey...

Recently, I got a lot of drive, passion, fire blah blah blah... can't wait to start out my new career... so much of energy at lectures despite after the whole day of nonsense at my current work... everything I am doing is all so different, all so new... and I am all excited to face the challenges... I know it won't be a easy journey... the path is rocky and long... BUT I think I am determined to do my best!

ALL THE BEST TO ME!!!!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!

2007-06-18T16:29:00.000+08:00

I am starting school again.. hopefully this time round, all went well... HAHAHA... looking at the modules... ermmm... i saw some killers... like ermmmm statistics... Yucks! Hate it so much... kekee.... Yes, statistics... I am now doing Economic and Finance.. No more Mr Einstein for me... Shifting towards the financial world where I think I am more suitable...

Oh ya... I am now finally a proud member of tcc... kekee... had being indulging with the sinful desserts there... OMG, I found myself kinda enjoy indulging in such ermmm sinful food... tccc, B&J, cheesecake... oops... spend a bit too much money... gotta control... kekekee but that doesn't stop me from going to tcc... to have my nice liquor coffee and liquor dessert... YUMMY!!!!

I gave up hope on PSP as it is way too ermmm adult or boring for me.. I am such a kid... I prefer to play Super Mario, Wario, Pokemon... hahahaha... much more suitable for me lor... oops... gonna spend money to buy DS lite?? maybe... will need to earn some money to get myself this little present... kekee... GSS leh... how can don't buy? hahahaha... Oops... kinda spend too much in this GSS... haiz...

Revamp... I gonna revamp my room... gonna make it look like a kennel... hahaha... I am a dog, so dog live in a kennel... hahaha... Target: Do at least 1 Jissaw Puzzle on Dogs once a month and hang all over my room... WOW... so exciting!!! kekee... gonna look for boney blanket, bedsheet... and curtains too... No more "Blue (Eiffel 65)" theme for me... Now is the "Who let the dogs out (Baha Men)" theme... kekee... time for a change!! kekekee... *thinking... will I persist? Hmmmmmm* okay... going home tonitez to do the puzzle...

2007-06-14T11:35:00.000+08:00

I am missing someone badly... argh....

FOCUS!! FOCUS!!

2007-06-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

靠近我

我忧郁地看着你
看着我爱的你
你的冷漠我不要这真让我烦恼
我轻轻地走近你
你却想要逃避
好象我真的犯了错
你不要这么做
我要你靠近我抱着我
好好爱我
我会给你
我会给你所有的快乐
我要你靠近我抱着我
你要好好爱我
我会给你
所有的快乐

2007-06-09T01:51:00.000+08:00

Battling..... Battling..... Battling..... ARGH............

2007-06-04T02:04:00.000+08:00

haven't being blogging... not that there is no updates or no happening... just that i'm not in the mood to blog...

Now I shall write what happened the whole of the past 10 days... I just got my surgery done on 29th May.. now my right is ermmm kinda weak again... the surgery this round is so much different from the previous time... less fear, i must say... kekee... But kinda bothered as I may need to return to work even before my MC end on 11th June... sick and irritating... well.. I am not going to be that stupid... risk my hand being fracture again for work (my bone has holes in it now... so higher risk of fracture it)

Gotta go for physiotherapy for my pathetic weak hand... sianz... but it is the same therapist... yeah... hopefully she remembered me... kekee...

My mum is discharged from the hospital le... WOW... it is her first time admitted to the hospital!! i can't believe it... after staying in the hospital for 1 week... she finally return home... OMG... my place was ermmm.... in kinda complete chaos lor... although I do some housework... but somehow, it seems very chaotic.... hahahaha... think I am not suitable to do housework... HAHAHAHA...

GSS!!! Nothing gonna hinder me from going for GSS even my weak hand... shop abit... WOAH!!! so happy wor... ermmmm... I can't spend too much... gonna go Hong Kong again end of the year... Yes, going Hong Kong again... wanted to go Shanghai but... haiz....nvm la... HAHAHAHA...

hmmmm... I don't understand wor... got so much of craving for many exotic foods... YUMMY!!! who wanna go eat with me?? kekee... EAT EAT EAT!!! hahaha...

So much of nice movies coming up wor... anyone interested?? kekee... Oh ya... Arts Fest is back le.. so much of performances going around... wanna watch?? let's go and watch la.. hmmmm... remind me of the Phantom of The Opera... Nice one, love it.... kekee... saw quite a few friends there... hmmmm...

JOBS!!! anyone who got vancacy for any junior post in a commercial, banking or finance company?? I am keen to take it on... Wanna get some experience from that field... kinda tired in my line le... wanna try something else... Oh ya... i am still open for Marketing field... hahaha...

*a-choo* *yawnz* kinda sick now... feverish... gotta go sleep soon...

2007-05-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

Breaking down... teary eyes... Another moment of darkness in my life again... it's almost 7pm and I am still in the office... unwillingly to leave... not becuase i am working... but I am scared... Facing so much stress at work... feeling very tensed already... on top of that, going for surgury next week also give me so much stress.... not the scare at the operating theatre, but somehow, I can't dump my work aside and leave... so much of problems... work... work... work... work... work... work... BUT I am still holding on... but not for long...

With upcoming more stress coming up... I might be starting my study in July... more stress coming along.. I don't know if I can manage it well... Work stress alone is a killer... Plus study? I think I am really putting myself to the limit.. putting myself in the war zone.. AWAS... DANGER...

Money? Ever since I wash my hands off the basin of finance, i felt that I have much less money to use... not used to it... running out of cash so easily... Studying tuition fees, year end getaway trip, commitment... I start to feel the pressure... Hopefully Mr S11 won't be too much an impact to my life..

Personal life? I don't what will happen if I can't cope the above well... I am sure it will affect my personal life.. The worst have to be feared... I dunno if I can handled it well... Feeling very weak, old and tired..

7pm already.. what's stopping me from leaving? My mum... She just got admitted to the hospital.. I felt so scared... I love my mum a lot.. although I seldom show my love... but she know... I am not so prepare to go to the hospital and heard something bad from the doctors.. but nonetheless... I need to go over and find out what's wrong...

I am feeling very tired... I feel like switching off... off it and that's it... end of problems.. recharged it and returned fully charge to face all these... but no... i can't... problems is adding on and on as days passes...

*tired....

2007-05-20T03:56:00.000+08:00

Somehow.... I guessed I did something wrong... I am feeling so guilty... haiz... so sad... still couldn't sleep... argh!!!

2007-05-13T01:03:00.000+08:00

Best in Me
Blue

From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time
I don't ever wanna lose this feeling
I don't wanna spend a moment apart

Chorus:
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

Chorus...

And you know that we belong together, It just had to be you and me

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

2007-05-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

Declaration

I, ahdai, will be soon taking a short break from the finance world. Please do not consult me anything. Consultation will be given at a reasonable and nominal fees. hahahahaha...

Having gastric and irregular sleeping times. Loss of focus had landed me in many "accidents"... I really need a rest....

2007-05-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

Being to school yesterday... the feeling is like... returning home... I love my days when I was still there... Hanging around "studying"... Saw all the food... remember how I dashed to the canteen to queue for food... saw the lecture halls, remember the times we created havoc in the halls... saw the study corners, remember the times when we "study" so hard... Saw the sport complex, remembered the times that we tease and have fun with each other... So much fun...

My joys, my laughters, my memories... I love you... Ngee Ann Polytechnic! I am PROUD to be a Ngee Ann Students!

2007-05-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

Being there... and decided to get out of my comfort zone and move on... Just sign the letter of LPT... I am now a permanent staff. I think I will bear with all the nonsenses for at least another 3 yrs. I need time to slowly move on... I think this place is "cool" enuff...

I am thankful to have shine with me and support me... kekee... thanks... need your support! kekee... hopefully I can make it thru... Haven't being in best of mood these few days... a lot things bothering me... but I am sure I can handle them well... No matter what, life gonna move on!

Ying, thanks for your advices. I know you might not like my decision, but I decided to choose my path, this is the path I wanna go. I am sorry if I disappoint you. Nonetheless, I believe you will be there to support me, right? BTW... headhunt me in the future... not now... HAHAHAHA...

Tough journey to come... I am all gear up... all ready... GO!

2007-05-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

Your Interpersonal Intelligence Score: 68%

Your Interpersonal Intelligence is High

You are definitely a "people person." You enjoy spending time with others.
You instinctively understand people, and you are both a good counsellor and mediator.
However, there are definitely times when you've had enough. And that's when you cherish being alone.

How Does Your Interpersonal Intelligence Rate?

2007-05-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

Spot the differences

2007-05-06T13:52:00.000+08:00

Just for laughs

2007-05-05T09:33:00.000+08:00

Sweet Dream??

I saw a rainbow right in front of me... It was so beautiful. It's beyond description. How I wish to own it. I tried to step on it... HEY, I was walking on the rainbow!!! I ran and ran.... I saw the mountain, the sea, the forest... EVERYTHING!! I felt like on top of the world.. SO happy wor... I decided to pace to the other side of the rainbow... It seems like an endless journey... Nonetheless, I guess I finally reached... Path made of gold (why do I felt like Wizard of Oz, hmmmm)... Trees everywhere... with fruits of great red heart shapes.

So fantasy wor... but it so nice... I walked on my favourite rainbow... so beautiful... haiz... but in real life I know... Rainbow will only appear after a shower.... haiz...

Awaiting for rainbow after a shower...

2007-05-05T01:39:00.000+08:00

Wow... Before I knew it... It's being 2 months le... hmmmm... So fast... kekee... I wondered if she remember... kekee...

2007-05-04T01:37:00.000+08:00

It's only a short while and I miss her... why? haiz... I can't explain too...

OMG... it's 4th May... FRIDAY!!! Weekend!! happy happy happy.... lalalalalala

2007-05-03T17:22:00.000+08:00

OMG.... A super big sianz.... I think due to my recent skipping of meal... my gastric problem is back... argh... pain and dizzy...

2007-05-03T02:42:00.000+08:00

Trying so hard to sleep... Took medication... It doesn't seems to work so well...

2007-05-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

Why am I hiding? I recalled one of my teacher said... "The best thing about us, human, we are emotional being... and we (as actors) need this emotion spirit within... The feeling in you, let's it flow, don't contain it. Let it flow freely"

I never know how to contain my emotion well.. Coz it is in me... It's simply flow out of me.. it's me... (a very typical taurus) It's always very obvious to tell if I am happy or sad... shine never fail to detect and tried her best to cheer me up... Thanks shine...

Ying reminded me just now, we need to meet the basic need of the 5 components of a human being, Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual... only with all 5, I will feel whole. (I wondered)

Yes, felt rotten, felt invisible, felt as thin as smoke, felt helpless, felt lousy. I really wondered if I am to leave tomorrow, will there be a difference? Perhaps no one will notice. I really dunno... I really dunno... I guessed nothing gonna change....

2007-05-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

You're Always There For Me

You are the light that brightens up the day
You comfort me - that lightens up my way
You are the strength that keeps me strong
Your love, it keeps me safe and warm
You are my hero, cos
You're always there for me

I do not fear the dark that hides the day
Or when I feel that life has gone astray
You are the shelter from the storm
Your, it keeps me safe and warm
Through thick and thin, I know
You're always there for me

And I believe we're meant to be
This is our destiny
I do believe our love will see
Through all eternity

You are the hope that keeps me in a smile
You give me faith - that makes it all worthwhile
You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

And I believe we're meant to be
This is our destiny
I do believe our love will see
Through all eternity

You are the hope that keeps me in a smile
You give me faith - that makes it all worthwhile
You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

2007-05-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

Once again... I have that feeling again... I felt kinda hurt... wanted to shed my misery out... but I can't... Somehow.. I really doubt my existence... I really wondered did you ever spare a thought for me? Do you ever care how I feel?

I know, you have your choice! BUT I have my rights too... I have my rights to be unhappy.. I know I can't stop you... And I guess you know I won't be happy too... BUT have ever thought of how me comfort me? Don't you know I am very easily satisfied?

*locked behind the door, crying...*

2007-05-01T10:50:00.000+08:00

Quit Breaking My Heart
Mandy Moore

You were my first slow dance
Thought that we had a chance
But together was too hard for you
Hanging out with your friends
And my expectance sees all I need is for you to be true
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
And you need to stop breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Baby I don't feel this way about anyone
Something about you, boy
Nothing seems to be quite like this
Holding your hand
Touching my face
Standing here, waiting for our first kiss
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
And you need to stop breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
You need to stop
You need to stop breaking my heart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

2007-05-01T10:10:00.000+08:00

Breaking My Heart
MLTR

I'm on the floor
counting one minute more
Noone to break the silence

Staring into the night
all alone but that's alright
It's the feeling deep inside I don't like

Chorus:
There is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart again
This is where our journey ends
Your breaking my heart again

Here in my bed
counting the words you've said
They linger in the shadows

Coming home late at night
drunk again but that's alright
It's the look in your eyes I don't like

Chorus:
There is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart again..

2007-04-30T14:34:00.000+08:00

OUCH!!! A sudden sharp pain at the head or brain la, near my eyes... Lasted for about 5 minutes... Not a good sign...

2007-04-30T11:31:00.000+08:00

First time feeling this tired....

2007-04-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

OMG... it is a dream catcher!!!! I always wanted have one... and now FINALLY I got one!! THANKS ANGELINE!!!! This is one of the best birthday I ever received in my entire life... I had being wanting it for years le... never bought one for myself coz they said that it won't "work" if I buy it for myself.... And it is blue lor.... just nice to compliment my blue room... THANKS THANKS!!!! It came in just handy... Catch all my bad dream away!!!!!!!!

2007-04-25T18:46:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM EXPLODING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weeping behind the keyboard....

2007-04-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

Your encouragement worth more than gold...
Your praise worth more than diamond...

2007-04-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

Yes... I am not so happy... I am upset... upset over things that I wish I can say... but I can't... *holding back my tears... Why can't things be a little be easier? Why am I behaving like that?

2007-04-23T12:52:00.000+08:00

Just seen the doctor... SIANZ!!! I have to go for surgury on the 29th May... and will be on MC for about 2 weeks... *sob* meaning no more Australia trip for me?? *sob*

I need to move out of my comfort zone... will plan to take CMFAS Examinations in May. Wish me good luck...

2007-04-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

"Happy Birthday!!" yes... without fail, lane is still the first one who wish me happy birthday and ying follow up next... hahaha... had an extraordinary birthday as in well... I don't celebrate my birthday la.. but for the first time, ermmmm... for think more than 12 yrs, I had not blown so much candle on such a big cake le... Thanks XTOMIC-ers...

I guessed I enjoyed today... Thanks...

2007-04-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

quarter century le...

2007-04-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

There's an emptiness I felt today... Suppose to have dinner with ying tonight but she called me 4 days ago that she need to go France... so ya... dinner cancelled... Suppose to have another dinner tomorrow or Sat with with one of my gal frd... and yes... she fell extremely sick and yes... dinner cancel... the feeling is kinda overwhelming... haiz... If only Violet is still in Singapore.. haiz.....

solitaire, 孤独, 孤獨, solitario